Length: 770 feet
Breadth: 3 feet 6 inches
Depth: 1 foot 3 inches
Longest straight stretch: 90 feet
Tunnels: 6, totalling 356 feet, the longest 100 feet
Transport links: monorail
More details later.
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Irish waterways history 
With those dimensions, it’s not a river, it’s a puddle.
You’re just teasing me now, what with talk of tunnels and monorail, but with those dimensions, it is probably a model railway layout :(
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