Tag Archives: brexit

Bleedin Brexit

What he says.

Is Brendan Smith a disguised Theresa May?

Theresa May, who is Prime Minister of Unicornia, is renowned for her inability to take “No”, or indeed “Definitely not”, or “What part of NO do you not understand?”, or “FOAD”, for an answer.

The same may be said of Brendan Smith, a Fianna Fáil TD for Cavan-Monaghan (in a region where mental health is a big issue). For many years, Mr Smith has been asking when a navigation (first proposed as one of W T Mulvany’s insane drainage-cum-navigation projects in the 1840s) is to be constructed between Belturbet and Lough Oughter. And, year after year, he is told, in the politest possible terms, that it’s a non-runner.

Here’s the latest example, where the unfortunate Minister for Fairytales devotes a lot of effort to telling him to FOAD. Waterways Ireland has the right idea:

There is already extensive existing underused navigation for example at Belturbet and Waterways Ireland has reiterated the potential in the waters of the Lough Oughter area being promoted as a distinct Blueway. The national context is that Blueways Ireland (National Trails Office, Canoeing Ireland and other state bodies) is currently considering the establishment of Blueways beyond the Waterways Ireland network of inland waterways.

To this end, Waterways Ireland has met with the Chief Executive of Cavan County Council, other council officials and elected representatives concerning Blueways developed successfully on the Waterways Ireland network to advise on possible ways forward. Waterways Ireland is happy to support Cavan County Council should it decide to develop a Blueway on the River Erne from Belturbet to Killykeen and Killeshandra but as the area is officially outside of their remit, this offer extends to advice and support only.

It would be nice if Mr Smith would stop wasting parliamentary time on the pursuit of unicorns. If he doesn’t, I’ll be forced to conclude that he and Mrs May are somehow related.

Brexit: a superb article

Here.

Wood’s Laxative Pills

Wood’s Laxative Pills are a valuable FAMILY APERIENT MEDICINE, and an excellent remedy for Bilious Complaints, Habitual Costiveness, Head Aches, and all Disorders arising from Obstructions in the Bowels. Not one particle of Mercury, Antimony, or other Mineral, enters their composition.

Prepared and sold by James Wood, Druggist, Bristol, in boxes, 1s 1½d each, or three boxes in one for 2s 9d. Sold also by Mr Edwards, 66, St Paul’s Church-yard, London, and by most respectable Medicine Venders in the Kingdom.

Liverpool Mercury 16 June 1826

So if you think your favourite Brexiteer is full of shit, you know what to suggest.

Brexit and borders

I see that Her unfortunate Majesty’s Government has been testing the technology for the enforcement of a hard border in the Irish Sea.

Brexit loonies

It is hard to understand how people can be so short-sighted and indeed nitwitted as to vote to leave a larger political and economic union, without the slightest idea of what was to happen afterwards. Or how politicians, with a hugely inflated view of their own country’s importance, can ignore economic and commercial practicalities in favour of an entirely unrealistic notion of sovereignty. No thought for how existing commercial relationships would be affected or how that would affect trade and employment. A ridiculous assumption that politicians and civil servants could set up new trade deals and would be better at it than those with practical experience.

That, however, is exactly what Sinn Féin did in 1918 and 1919, in its election manifesto and in the unicorn-bedecked “democratic programme” adopted by the first Dáil.

I say this not to excuse HM Brexiteers — I think that both they and Sinn Féin (past and present) are bonkers — but to suggest that outbreaks of mass insanity can happen to anyone.

The ghost of William Ockenden

I see that Ramsgate is back in the news.

A solution to Brexit

The neighbours over the way seem to believe that Brexit means Brexit, but have difficulty in accepting that Backstop means Backstop, rather than “temporary reassurance made with our fingers crossed”.

I think that the solution is to make it more acceptable to leading Brexiteers. We can do that by changing the name of the backstop, preferably to something in Latin. That will immediately make it appeal to Messrs Johnson and Rees-Mogg, who can explain it to those of their friends who were unfortunate enough not to have attended one of the better public schools. And, as Mrs Foster won’t have anything to do with the language of Popery, she won’t understand it and it won’t be necessary for anyone to bother her with the detail.

But what should the new name be? I suggest Laudabiliter II, which might have a certain appropriateness, even though the Pope isn’t an Irishman.

The Prince of Denmark?

Look here, upon this picture, and on this.

Solving Brexit

The Grauniad has the solution: a home for Brexiteers.