Category Archives: Uncategorized

Amritsar

HMG regrets the 1919 massacre at Amritsar, but won’t say sorry: “we debase the currency of apologies if we make them for many events”, and I suppose it would take too long.

Here’s Ferdinand Mount on the subject.

Reginald (not, pace the Grauniad, George) Dyer went to Midleton College in Cork; Sir Michael O’Dwyer, who approved of his actions, was from Limerick Junction.

The Conservatives thought Dyer was a great chap.

 

 

The problems with new technology in America

Apparently they have a thing called turkey bacon.

F*&&%R”^!

Their “civilisation” is doomed.

 

I just thought you’d like to know that …

Oranges, lemons, corks, and a few other articles are often sold by the gross; nails, tacks, &c have six score to the hundred.

Sheet lead is from 6 lb to 10 lb to the square foot. A pipe of an inch bore is commonly 13 lb or 14 lb to the yard in length.

A solid yard of well wrought clay will make 460 bricks. Thirty-two common bricks will cover a square yard. A common brick must not be more than 9 inches long, 4½ inches wide, and 2½ inches thick.

Plain tiles should be 10½inches long, 6¼ inches wide and ⅝ inches thick.

An imperial gallon of seal or whale oil should weigh 9 lb; spermaceti, 8 lb; which test of quantity all consumers are recommended to employ, as many use the old measure, which is 1-5th less.

The log-line used in the navy is 48 feet long.

From Statistics and Calculations essentially necessary to persons connected with Railways or Canals; containing a variety of information not to be found elsewhere. Calculated and arranged by Samuel Salt 2nd ed Effingham Wilson, London 1846

Aida aria

This is probably an amusing song about Brexit by Fascinating Aida [whose, er, prima donna, Dillie Keane, would qualify to play for Ireland] [and who now provides wise advice here].

The new song doesn’t work on my computer with my browser and my settings, but perhaps it does elsewhere.

Fascinating Aida’s best-known song is probably this one, which includes the word “feck”.

Dear Her Majesty’s Government …

… here is today’s lesson.

This is a brewery.

Weberbauersche Brauerei in Breslau
~1880 [Wikimedia Commons]

This is a piss-up.

Oktoberfest 2005. By Andreas Steinhoff, Attribution, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=843961

What you do, see, is ….

 

 

Oh, forget it.

 

 

 

News for Fido

Fido tells me that we have had a response from Clare County Council (but none from Waterways Ireland, although admittedly they’re not responsible).

Fido says that Clare County Council says

Your observations and comments will be brought to the attention of the Beach Management Committee.

The search facility on Clare County Council’s website hasn’t heard of a “beach management committee” so I can’t tell you anything more about it. If anyone has information, please leave a Comment below.

In other news, Fifi, the Rottweiler, says that she is going to form a Ladies’ Committee to lobby for private facilities for lady dogs. She says that the powers-that-be seem to think they’ve done enough for dogs when they’ve put up a few lampposts, but that does nothing for the ladies.

Headlines

From the Irish Times website at 0855 on 17 March 2019:


It seems that the second headline is about some sporting persons rather than another mass murder. Perhaps the sports department’s headline writers would benefit from sensitivity training. Or something.

Brexit: a superb article

Here.

Wood’s Laxative Pills

Wood’s Laxative Pills are a valuable FAMILY APERIENT MEDICINE, and an excellent remedy for Bilious Complaints, Habitual Costiveness, Head Aches, and all Disorders arising from Obstructions in the Bowels. Not one particle of Mercury, Antimony, or other Mineral, enters their composition.

Prepared and sold by James Wood, Druggist, Bristol, in boxes, 1s 1½d each, or three boxes in one for 2s 9d. Sold also by Mr Edwards, 66, St Paul’s Church-yard, London, and by most respectable Medicine Venders in the Kingdom.

Liverpool Mercury 16 June 1826

So if you think your favourite Brexiteer is full of shit, you know what to suggest.

A solution to Brexit

The neighbours over the way seem to believe that Brexit means Brexit, but have difficulty in accepting that Backstop means Backstop, rather than “temporary reassurance made with our fingers crossed”.

I think that the solution is to make it more acceptable to leading Brexiteers. We can do that by changing the name of the backstop, preferably to something in Latin. That will immediately make it appeal to Messrs Johnson and Rees-Mogg, who can explain it to those of their friends who were unfortunate enough not to have attended one of the better public schools. And, as Mrs Foster won’t have anything to do with the language of Popery, she won’t understand it and it won’t be necessary for anyone to bother her with the detail.

But what should the new name be? I suggest Laudabiliter II, which might have a certain appropriateness, even though the Pope isn’t an Irishman.